help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize