if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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