HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
