8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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