It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Girls should come with a carfax report
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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