I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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