So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
