She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
