had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
