a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
