You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
