dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize