I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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