yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
