operation harelip BJ is a go
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
