I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
