3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Houston, we have a blender
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
