your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
why didn't you poke me back
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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