69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
