i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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