It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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