the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My dick has a subreddit
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize