Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
