I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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