i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
