I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
