i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
