He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
