Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
