no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
