Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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