remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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