We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
