just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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