They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
