His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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