Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize