You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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