whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
