You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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