he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
