so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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