remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
