I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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