Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
