The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
