sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize