I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
