dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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