My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
