What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
