I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
