I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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