Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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(904): View more from Florida

We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese

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(903): View more from Texas

The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.

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(850): View more from Florida

Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof

(206): View more from Washington

nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?

(808): View more from Hawaii

try again roofio

Fav 2 73 15
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...

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