Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize