At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
