I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
