Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
