The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
