; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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