Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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