Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
