If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
