Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
