I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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